Before I Die by Jenny Downham

Tessa is sixteen. She’s dying of leukaemia, and wants to live life to the full before she bows out so she compiles a bucket list – including sex, taking drugs, being famous, doing something illegal and falling in love – but it gets longer and longer as the days she has left reduce; Before I Die is a record of Tessa’s life in her last few months as she strides to fulfil her list before the inevitable – it’s raw and heartbreaking, but it’s also inspirational and carries the message that you should live life to the full.

I told myself before reading that I had to not like Tessa so the book would be relatively easy to read because unlike most books, you know as soon as you start reading that the main character is going to die at the end, and if I liked Tessa I couldn’t bear to read it. Also, I may sound heartless but I’ve never cried at a book or movie yet (I’ve been very close though!) and I was hoping this wouldn’t be my first time; although Tessa is very difficult to like – she’s selfish and pessimistic and bitter (but wouldn’t you be in her situation?) I grew to like her; however, I still didn’t cry, though it may have been because the beautifully done ending wasn’t as upsetting as I imagined it would be. I went on and off Tessa – I loved her witty, refreshing observations of the world, especially now she knows her days are numbered, but I really hated how self-centred she was, though I could understand why, but I do like the fact she had mood swings and actually acted like a proper teenager, unlike most YA protagonists.

I’m very glad that Downham has clearly put huge amounts of research into this book, because it would be almost like a mockery otherwise, and it helps you to learn a bit about the life of a leukaemia patient. It gets a bit graphic due to some of the items on Tessa’s list, but it is done in a kinda subtle way. I’m not surprised to hear it’s being made into a movie, and I’m annoyed but sadly not surprised to hear that the title has been changed to make it more ‘suitable’ - Now Is Good? Seriously?! Who thought that was a good title? 


            The characters were all realistic and fleshed out, though they could have been done a bit more, and I really didn’t like Tessa's annoying friend Zoey. The writing was also very beautiful and poignant. I don’t think I liked being out of my ‘comfort’ zone either as Before I Die is definitely not my usual type of book and I generally avoid sad depressing books like the plague, but I’m glad I read it because it’s made me appreciate life a lot more.

____________________________________________________________
[SYNOPSIS: Tessa has just months to live. Fighting back against hospital visits, endless tests, drugs with excruciating side-effects, Tessa compiles a list. It’s her To Do Before I Die list. And number one is Sex. Released from the constraints of ‘normal’ life, Tessa tastes new experiences to make her feel alive while her failing body struggles to keep up. Tessa’s feelings, her relationships with her father and brother, her estranged mother, her best friend, and her new boyfriend, all are painfully crystallised in the precious weeks before Tessa’s time finally runs out.]

You Against Me by Jenny Downham

You Against Me focuses on the consequences of Karyn accusing Tom of rape; the legal odds are not in her favour – there is no evidence, Tom is from a very rich family who can afford the best lawyers and the only other person in the house at the time, Tom’s younger sister Ellie, claims not to have seen anything. Meanwhile, Kayrn’s brother is plotting his own form of revenge and whilst planning it out, he meets Ellie, and he certainly didn’t plan on what happens next…

You Against Me was realistic in all aspects, especially the characters, although I found that I didn't quite connect with them, which means I didn’t care too much what happens to them, which makes the storyline a bit redundant, but still touching. The alternating chapters between Mikey and Ellie provide both sides to the story of the assault – before reading You Against Me, I have to admit I’ve never given due consideration towards the point of view and feelings of the family of the offender, or how such a claim affects a wide range of people, so it has definitely opened my eyes in that respect. I liked the relevant culture references and slang, though much will go right over the heads of the non-British as they are fairly specific, and may be pretty confusing.

There was too much talk about sex and drugs for my liking, though I guess it made it gritty. You’re left on a cliffhanger, but I wouldn’t really call it that as such because it’s made pretty much clear what will eventually happen, especially if you give it a bit of thought. I found the pacing to be very slow with not a lot of action to sustain your interest and perhaps as much as a hundred pages could have been cut, which would make it a much more enjoyable read, as I was a bit underwhelmed on finishing it. Also, I really can’t decide if I like the cover or not, though I do like the scratches…

Nonetheless, You Against Me is indeed a brave and unflinching novel, dealing with a difficult and sensitive subject very carefully, yet still manages to explore it thoughtfully - a powerful and touching read.

_______________________________________________________

[SYNOPSIS: If someone hurts your sister and you're any kind of man, you seek revenge, right? If your brother's been accused of a terrible crime and you're the main witness, then you banish all doubt and defend him. Isn't that what families do? When Mikey's sister claims a boy assaulted her at a party, his world of work and girls begins to fall apart. When Ellie's brother is charged with the crime, but says he didn't do it, her world of revision, exams and fitting in at a new school begins to unravel. When Mikey and Ellie meet, two worlds collide. Brave and unflinching, this is a novel of extraordinary skillfulness and almost unbearable tension. It's a book about loyalty and the choices that come with it. But above all it's a book about love - for one's family and for another.]